lalalalaaa.......boredom personified

haiz.... dammit its a new year... dammit its 2010.... dammit im in dammit f5.... dammit spm.... dammit.... so freakin scared la... seriously... im gonna be freakin out the whole year.... seriously.... i have to get at least get 6 a's la.... out of 10 subs.... wait lemme count.... bm,bi,mt,adm,phy,chem,bio,ag,sj..... no no 9 subs... omg... so freakin many...IM GONNA COMMIT SUICIDE!!!.... haizzzz

im so in love wif taylor swift's and boys' like girls new song... i also like kesha's song tick tock... so freakin fun... and there's this one song... i know the name of d song but not the artist though... d name of the song is firefly.... so freakin chun la.... lol.... and not to mention CUTEEEEEE... ok ok i gotta go ill make a post a lil later... sowieeeee.. i miss bloggin.. i rawkzzzz .. chaozzzz

gosh

omgosh........ i cant believe im actually back so soon!... i feel so sad... i miss all of them.... seriously... they were all so damn awesome!... haiz... ='[... i met so many new ppl from diff countries... and now i can actually say that ppl all over the world LOVE ME... and i love ppl ALL OVER THE WORLD... i miss our bus... i miss d study tours we used to have... i miss d damn food eventhough it wasnt that nice... i miss sayin 'JOKE AHHH'.. hahahaha... sobb.. ='[.. i miss joking around wif chay.... she's so damn cute.... haizzz..... i miss everyone... i cant believe we managed to get that close to each other within such a short timespand.... it was damn awesome.. and im gonna miss japan... its awesome toilets.... its awesome people... damn are the ppl so hostile... so kind... so pretty and cute and shy.... the guys in my skul were super shy!.. hahaha.. but it was kinda cute.... on the last day when i was waiting for my host sister to finish volleyball practice a guy from my class yelled out 'I LOVE YOU TASHA' all over from the other side of the court.. omg i was so embarrased but damn was he cute.... lol... i said....'I LOVE YOU TOO' back to him.. hahax.. im gonna miss everyone in class I6..... it was damn awesome... lol.. i miss not being able to understand a single world they are sayin... i miss having to converse using an electronic dictionary.. hahaha.. yea we actually had to use that... coz their english isnt exactly that good so in order to understand them and for them to understand me we had to use it.. lol.. it was kinda fun actually... damn fun...hahahaha.... and damn are their handphones AWESOME!.... freakin awesome tau... and i took pirikura!!!... its like this picture booth where u behave like total asses and take pix and then u can draw on them and all and then theyre printed out.... its so freakin cool!.... haizzz.. ='[

holidayz 09

i cant believe it.... ur just like the rest.... u just...stole my heart and left me soulless... while i sat on my bed... literally dumbfounded and with nothing better to do.... i couldnt believe my ears... my brain actually shut down for 3 minutes(yes i counted)... i just couldnt believe i fell for a guy that fast and i actually let him make me fall for him.... im so damn stupid....

im thinkin whether i should become a player or be a lesbo.... mayb a lesbo la.... or a player... but im neither.... haiz.... life's confusing and sick and sad and depressing and painful and........ watever else that describes negative feelings.....i tink ill become a bi... lolxlolx

i hate school... literally... theyre havin dis damn meeting on friday... my damn plan is RUINED I TELL YOU RUINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....bladi mama's fish.... they shud jus go suck ppls rambutans.....

im a single gal lookin to hav loads of FUN.... SHOPPIN.... DUDES....HERE I COME!!!!! hehehehehehe.....

let go...

i feel like writing songs.... tonnes of them... but the ting is... i dont hav that many words to say... i have feelings... but all those feelings are just locked up in my heart and they just cant seem to escape and they just cant be described....

i like you... i may even love you... but what do i know... i am just only 16... i dont really know the actual meaning of the word... i say it... i think i feel it too... but i am kinda scared to say it sometimes... im scared that i will hurt him if i say it too often... but seriously... dis guy rawkz... we like d same things... but i wonder if we hav d same character... i dunno whether he understands me... i duno whether i understand him... i sooo wanna understand him... but i know wat he wants.... i know partially wat he's like.... but still... its not enough.... i wanna know more... i wanna know wat he thinks.. how he thinks... everything... i dunno how to explain it... haiz... IM WEIRD ARENT I.... wtv la

freakin fed up of xamz.... damn freakin fed up u noe.... i cant bare it... i didnt study at all... juz cant be bothered.... decided to fail as many subs this term.. lolx.. weird rite... but i dont care... i know i can do it.. but i need 1 month... dis time i was sick 2 weeks b4 d xam.. how to study??? so i juz let it go... hehe...

im going

1ST VERSE
i hear ur breath
against my face
i touch ur chest
my heart starts to race

i know i screwed up
and now ur gone
when we broke up
i felt all alone

2ND VERSE
i cant bear
to see your tears
i just have
to face my fears

id do anything to keep you smiling
i cant bare to see ur frown
if it means i hav to giv up smiling
id do it just to see u happy

CHORUS
i never wanted to hurt you
id never do such a thing
but i knew we'd fall through
we just werent meant to be
although i still love you
i know i always will
but i have to do something
so here i am....im going

bllaaaaaa much.....

i hate skul.... i was so damn depressed and pissed at her... she didnt use my pages... i dammit worked so hard on them and all of dat lack of sleep for what? FOR NOTHING!.... go to hell la u.... seriously........ i dont care whether ur a teacher, at least be a teacher wif a lil less ego and more BRAINS!...

we call each other names..... there's a prezzie waitin for me.... im so called cute(which i totally dissagree on) there's a whole LIFE ahead of me... and i think im finally maturing and beginning to see the light.... i dont want anymore crapy 5 month stuff... i want de real deal... and i tink i may hav gotten it...... ma actually saw d pix! she didnt mind =D..... but still there's this awkward vibe..... haiz..... cuteness personified i tell you........ and we're practically d same in almost every aspect... juz dat.... pixs are a prov.... its against d LAW(kononnye) aq chayank bby aq bnyk2 tau!! & aq tau die chayank aq jgak.... scary kan... aq dah mule ckp dlm bm.. kene practice ckit lorr.... aq pun dh takut ssb aq tibe2 ckp bm... lolx... but english still rocks my world.... lolx...

couldnt help rekindling

i was sitting and doing add math when i just suddenly went into an oblivion. i went back to the time when i was at that scouts camp in johor. i couldnt help but miss the good time i had there. the friends. the experiences. then suddenly the single bad memory of that place came back to me all at a sudden.

it was the last day of the camp and the camp commandor said that we wouldnt have to do anymore running about and stuff like that. but the catch was that we couldnt sleep for that whole night. as soon as the sun came down, our eyes started to droop. we had had such a fun time till we didnt realize how little time of sleep we had had throughout the whole camp. we were extremely exhausted. we were trying to keep ourselves occupied by sitting in our tent(i was in the girls tent) but then it started to rain and our tent was flooded. so we took all of our stuff and went to the main area.

then, i went to my brother's, cousin's and one of my brother's friends campsite. it was the last tent by the side of an enormous tree and it was extremely secluded and serene. we talked and talked while waiting for the pouring water from above to stop. we talked and talked. then suddenly without realizing, all of us just slept off. i slept on my cousins lap, my cousin slept on my brothers lap and his friend slap on my lap. it was so cramped up, i cant imagine how in the world we slept off in that state. then suddenly we heard the whistle being blown. we were so knocked out that we just decided to ignore the whistling and go back to sleep. then suddenly out of the blue we heard someone opening our tent and shouting at us. it was the co-commandor!!... we didnt know what to do so we just got up and out of the tent. we got majorly messed up. they were shouting at us and everything. they didnt even budge when we told them that we're actually related. thank god they let us off the hook after getting shouted at for roughly 15-30 minutes.

woahhhhh..........

hahaha...... damn am i stuffed....i cant even breathe properly!!!! gosh... O_O....

PLEASE HELP ME FIND MY LOST SOUL

ive lost myself... i cant seem to write anymore poems..... im s damn devastated.... i miss writing poems... i so wanna write poems.... but somehow... now.... ive seemed to lost that special thing that makes me live... that thing that gives me life to write... to feel.. recently ive realized that i cant feel as much as i could before.... its like ive lost my life... the ablity to feel pain... to feel loved.... to... i dont know la.....

ive downloaded soooooo many internet stuff's for me to study from... hehehe.... im gonna do a crash course on my studies.... since ive been flunking almost every single thing....... lolx...

ive got absolutely nothing to say.... i dunno what to write.... i dunno wat to say!!!!!!!

ill juz go now i guess.... bye.....

CHICKEN POX ALLERT

im extremely devastated ='[..... ive got dammit CHICKEN POXXXXX...... thank god it isnt as bad as mikhails... but still.... i wont be ok in time for divali.... damn.... i was sooooo lookin forward to this year's divali coz itll b d last divali before my damn spm.... ='[.... next year i wont be able to enjoy as much as i PLANNED to.... damn.... freakin depressed... =[

yay =D ive found a site to download all my hindi songzzz =D hehehehehe..... i hate life.... ='[

i feel lonely..... my bro sits in his damn room and do only god knows what.... my mom minds her own business.... my dad is always at work... my cousin is juz.... well.... there... lol... haizz.... and now.... i dont even hav a dude and let alone a dudette to msg.... irene has a bf!!!!!!! yesss!!!!!!!! she doessss!!!!!!!omg!!!!!!!!!! hehehe... im more exited than her... hahax... im so proud of her! lol....

she better stay wif this dude.... he's good for her... he'll take care of her.... he seriously will =]

rekindling.....

i hate life....

you know wat happened? well, mr. j and mr. n actually punked me! and damn was i scared... like... seriously scared.... i was cryin...(dat was mr. n's work) then after a while, i started pouring my heart out... all the sorrow... all that grief started pouring out like a thick stream of honey.... and i didnt realize that mr. n and mr. j had switched places and i didnt realize that i was pouring my heart out to mr. j... i was so extremely dumbfounded... i didnt know wat to do or wat to say. all i could do was cry and sob. i had no other way to describe the intensity of the way i felt. the level of guilt and sorow flowing and entoxicating my blood. i couldnt bare it. i knew it was mr. j on the other side eventhough i could not see him. i trusted mr. j. Besides that, i occured to me that he was actually crying. i couldnt believe that this fiasco was taking place. it was so real yet incredibly unreal. i couldnt do anything else but cry. he kept asking me how i could have done such a terrible thing to him. even i didnt understand how i could have been so extremely cruel. i knew i was bad but i didnt know how bad. it never struck me that i could be this bad. i didnt forgive myself for 2 weeks. on the first day of the 3rd week, i received a msg from mr. j telling me no to be incredibly sad and miserable and he also asked me to move on and start studyin. but i knew that my studies were there and this fiasco wasnt getting in the way of it. i still cant accept my actions. however i know that i have to move on. i know that mr. j will slowly move on. i also know that i will always be able to talk to mr. j. he assured that. he is nice to talk to when he decides to talk. but otherwise, he is one extremely quiet man. yes he's a man. he isnt a boy. he is a MAN.

i confronted mr. s about what happened in front of mutiara complex. i told him almost everything. i didnt want to tell him everything because i dont have evidence that puts him in the safest of places. i will never forget what he did to me or what happened to me that day.


its nice having people to talk to. they tell you about their perspectives and their beliefs. and i appreciate my friends for that. they are the best(4th with the 1st being my mom,2nd dad, 3rd bro). i sometimes get really fed up of talking to girls all day. you know why? because ive been studyin in a girls school ever since i was in standard 1. these are the effect. catastrophy. i would prefer being in a co-ed school. more freedom, more responsibility and more experience and not to mention more fun. somehow, i find boys to be much more adventurous than girls. no one knows that i was actually a tom boy when i was in primary school. i had short hair, wore baggy tee's and huge jeans. but ive certainly changed now. but somehow, the way i talk and act still remained the same. i sometimes think like a boy(except the part of me being extremely and utterly emotional about the slightest of things) and i also tend to talk like a boy sometimes. it depends on my mood. but im definitely a girl. no doubt about that.

i hate studyin yet i sometimes miss studying. i feel bored when i dont study and yet i sometimes REFUSE to study. actually to tell you the truth, i will never start studyin properly until the last minute. especially for agama islam.

i need to start improving my level of english. im still my regular old self with all the stupidity and catastrophies and crapping but just with more polished english when compared to last time. yes mother... ive finally seen the light =S =S

i dont know what i wish to do when i grow up. but like as though im not already a huge buffallo. i just dont know what field to major in. i think i may do either photography or maybe even mass comm. ive heard from many people that mass comm is a very good choice of field. but we may never know until next year.

im in freakin penang! =D im so dammit happy... i missed penang.... i love batu ferringi! it RAWKZZ... dammit im actually wearin a damn dress.. hell yea! haha... ive not been able to stop clicking and clicking the small little button of uncle davids camera... =] OH YAA DAMN I GOTTA GO CHARGE IT.....

managed to charge it until only 18% ='[... but i didnt take that many pix.... tonite i seriously gotta charge it... tomolo is gonna b photography day... =D.... i miss s..... damn he lookd hawt wif his white shirt day day... lolx....

haiz.... im fed up..... of what? of life...

i bought 2 perfumes... one for me... one for ma.... for her bday.. then i bought 2 bracelettes.... one for ma.. one for kakak mu.... they love those stuff... lolx...

i miss you...

by taresh......

the urge to elope
was on the back of my mind
but i just couldnt cope
so i left you behind

when i got THE envelope
i started to cry
all of my lost hope
my eyes never remained dry

i couldnt bare
to experience this sight
i didnt dare
to put up a fight

me and suresh... we had a blastttt dat day.... hope for many more fun times ahead kay! hope to see you soon.... u rawk... thank god you talk... coz damn do i talk... A LOT... wet rain,

falling from the sky above,

tipper-tappering,

on the sidewalk,

the drops so cold,

its glimmer almost gold,

i finally feel the pain,

the pain of being in LOVE,

this pain makes me sound vain,

yet somehow i dont particularly care.

i finally know the obligation,

of belonging,

this obligation of belonging,

is a lesson to build determination.

this unique combination,

ever so devouring,

it partially hurts me,

to grasp that this actually hurts me,

and to enable me to react,

to the truth,

and nothing but the truth,

THAT I HAVE FINALLY FOUND YOU.

sadd... =[

im fed up laa.... fed up wif everythin... been damn freakin emo these past few days... seriously... DAMNNN emo.... im not scaring myself but i may end up scaring other ppl... haizz.....

im gonna miss markie... he's so cuteeee!!! he calls me 'TASA' coz he cant say 'TASHA' awwww.... i wonder what he'll look like when he's 5... omg cuteness personified.. haha... i tink aunty bee is tryin to make me mark's partial fav cuz or sumtin like dat.... hahahahaha.... newayz im gonna miss my markiee! =[ muaxxx(photo's will be inserted later)

im gonna miss aunty leonie... =[... haizz.. OMG UNCLE PAUL'S GIVIN ME HIS LUMIX CAMERAAA!!!!!!!I ALMOST CRIED WHEN HE TOLD ME... SERIOUSLY.... I WAS PARTIALLY CRYING.........OMGOMGOMG.... haizzz =D

FRASERS HILL 09/ 1 week of holz

FRASERS HILL
- quite a serene place

- uniquely interesting and peaceful(good place for a runaway destination wif your bf)
- very VERY photogenic

- extremely serene

- quite pleasant

CONCLUSION: I LOVE FRASERS HILL BUT I DONT LOVE FRASERS HILL

hahahahahaha....

i actually went out 3 times in a week! once by myself(ppl suspposed to come but had to cancel last minute coz of probz) so i went bezerk and shopped... lol... im officially broke(not exactly but technicly)..... the other time with mia,enbah and j........ we watched g.i. joe.... but i ended up watching only half of it.... muahahahahaha!!!...... but damn did dat day rawk.... i had so much of fun crapping wif mia and enbah..... enbah looks so cute in a dress!!! =D... lol... and the last time was yesterday.. =]... with s.... =].... damn is he a gentleman..... i loved it!!! i was like a freakin princess... thats the first time a guy's treated me like that.... he actually wore a shirt!! lol... cuteness personified laa..... we actually watched up! hahahahaha what a joke rite.. lol.. at the end of it the movie, his fren came to pick him up... he introduced me to his bff! waaa... lol.... his fren actually thought i was 19! cool =D.... im officially natasha~19~done my a-levels~looking into photography~......... lol now that was a total hoot.... i kept givin s stares the whole time... lol... he kept wanting me to come closer to him =]... every time i walked alone and wasnt holding his hand, he would come and grab my hand and look into my eyes.... s looks wayy better in reality than he does in his pix.... he needs a lesson on taking photo's.. lol.. he juz discovered the secret to taking perfect portraits..... TAKING THEM FROM THE TOP.... hahahaha.. whatttttt a discovery laa... he kept asking his fren, 'so what do you think of my girl?'.... i kept hehe'ing on the inside.... so lame rite... i behaved like a total ass..... i was acting like such a monkey!!! haizz.... no comments.. lol..

ive discovered a new oil thingy for my hair.... it prevents my hair from falling and makes my hair more shiny and glossy and not so dry..... its called... TENTENTEN.... ELLIPS... or however you spell it laa.. lol... but damn does it work... my hair looks A LIL BETTER THAN ITS FLUFFY SELF now... hahaha....

gotta go do my history notes otherwise ill be dead.... ill be skinned and hung on the top of block kesidang by my hair and left there in the heat for my fat to melt and drip down.......... lol.. that sounded even more gruesome than usual... lolx..... gotta go print pix of taj mahal and the red fort....

lost love

he was extremely angry with me.....wanted to meet me..... but couldnt coz he was workin and dat his fon was cacated and couldnt lemme know coz he couldnt call..... i dunno laa.... i tink im seriously gonna break up..... im fed up... but i cant.... its stupid... but hard to explain.... its understandable yet its extremely stupid..... i cant define my words... cant explain my feelings.... cant control the contentment... shit laa.... i gotta get out of this mess..... i think i gotta go bak.... gotta giv it a shot.... coz it wasnt my fault... it wasnt anyone's fault actually.... it juz happened and it was done.... no turning bak... no contact for 2 years..... the feeling was stuck so deep in me..... i couldnt help but cry my eyes out for at least a few months..... damn is it hard to forget.... its an extremely hard task to be accomplished.... the best way is to just erase all the sweet memories eventhough you dont want to and eventhough they're stuck in your brain for good......thank god for that method...coz then after a few months i felt better and (not all but fairly enough)all was forgotten.... but now..... everything's coming back to me..... i cant believe this laa....

THINGS TO DO:

+ clean room
+ hang huge mirror
+ get papers signed
+ do my history notes
+ start reading biology
+ wash my clothes
+ iron my uniforms
+ REMEMBER THAT IM SUPPOSED TO BE PUASA'ING
+ stop thinking about the past and move on
+ start GROWING UP!!

my holidays suck.... there's a LOT of things to do... but none of them are fun... none of them rock... well, at least i get to go shopping and blow all of my money.... hehehehe.... i just cant stand it... i go crazy every time im stressed.... i thought of baking just now... but then i decided that i need to prioritise my activities... so i decided to clean first.. but here i am... blogging my ass off... hehehe.....

ive realized that im fat ass hell.... ive realized that i can dance.... ive realized that i can sing.... ive realized that i can draw.... ive realized that i can write stories(if im in the mood)..... ive realized that i can write(not good but readable) poems..... ive realized that im obsessed with music..... ive realized that my sense of style has evolved(still emo but instead of wearing only black jeans and a tee, ive started wearing dresses with tee's and my sneakers =D) hehehehe.....

IN CONCLUSION, TASHA IS OFFICIALLY WEIRD AND NOT TO MENTION MAD AND ALSO DELUSIONAL!! =D

I HAVE MADE CONTACT WITH A MARTIAN WHO IS KNOWN AS KERRISSA SEELAN!!!>.. WHEEEE... =P

LOVE... HATE

love can be sweet

it makes jump and cheer

you say that you wanna meet

but you dont appear

love can be bitter
when u hang with a ditter
who say things that are ever so bitter
she just brags and craps
the crap she says stays in your head
and in the end you lose yourself and fade

looking back on where we were

we were so in love

till you couldnt breathe

neither could i move

then one fine day

you just stopped to care

not a single sentence

or a game of 'dare'

cant believe what's happened

this is so unfair

i knew my love for you would grow
after all thats happened i still love you so
my love so strong
that the thought of you
makes me glow
so please dont leave me
dont go

i still love you

i cant deny it

but yet i hate you

just cant bare it

I MISS KERRI!!! ='[

KERRISSA SEELAN!
WHERE HAV YOU BEEN?

ARE YOU IN LONDON?

VISITING THE QUEEN?

KERRISSA SEELAN

I LOVE YOUR HAIR!

I JUST WANNA CUT IT OFF

AND GIVE YOU A LONG STARE!

lol... seriously tau... mish her laa... mish talkin crap wif her... its ok... she has gotta go study... examz are around the corner... so, after her exams and after mine we can go TAKE OVER THE UNIVERSE!!! MUAHAHAHAHA... =P......

hehehehee... didnt go to skul.... you know why? coz i am not well.... im havin terrible headaches.... my whole body is aching like hell..... im startin to get a cold and not to mention a cough.... heck... i hate being sick during the holz..... haiz.... damn got dance clazz today.... haizz.... i lurve to dance.. but some ppl take it toooo seriously.... ='[..... oh yaaa guess wat? i saw janaa at tfa!!! i had no idea she studied there.... she's doink kattaq,playin the sita and singin!!!!.. waaaa... terror laa she... hahahaha.....

i cant cant be bothered to paint my nails laaa.... too damn lazy and at the same time, i cant b bothered to clean them in a weeks time... so mayb ill go and do a pedicure or maybe even a manicure.. hehehehe..... but i first gotta finish my sejarah work.. damn... muz do the history project too... dammit.... ='[

haizzz..... newayz i tink im gonna watch a movie now.... chaozzz.....

hhmm.... new?

wheeeee.... i edited my blog.... it doesnt look that bad arr... not bad la i.. hahaha.... im gonna reach places!! you know why? coz im finally pulling all the courage i have from my damn brain out and doing sumtin wif it! lol...

i seriously cant wait for sat..... cant wait to see..... cant wait to feel... cant wait to hear.... cant wait to have fun teasing! lol.... but then again... i dunno if he'll come.... i am doubting it laa... but still... there is a lil hope rite....

i sooooo wanna take part in a photography competition... but im too young... and at the same time.... most of these kinda competitions require an entrance fee.... and i also wanna go for vocal trainin classes..... but the ting is, klpac doesnt hav any weekly classes.. they only have courses..... haizz.... i was actually also thinkin of taking acting classes.... actually to tell you the truth, ive alwayz wanted to act... and damn.... i act every single day... dont we all?

i miss talking to mia and enbah..... my momma and my sayang... lol....

ive made a conclusion that im actually one very artsy person.... im more artsy than most of my friends.... haizz..... sadness personified.... and at the same time i feel like im the weird one.... they are all so damn smart and im the damn gurl who cant be bothered to think of add maths.... but i wanna learn bio chem and phy... i actually like all three subz.... and i also loveeee poems and stuff with a high level of english.... i find them interestingly complicating and fascinating...... hahahaha....

i dont know how emo i am... and ive realized that im beginning to change... i wanna wear more black dresses and black heels now.... not your usual black pants and black tee... but i still love all my tee's.... but i want to wear more dresses... but the thing is,.... you can only get those reliiii hot dresses at forever 21... and i havent seen it anywhere except in 1U.... and we hardly go there nowadays... now we go to the curve more often..... haizz.. i miss 1U....

im debating wif my conscience on whether i should go to skul tomorrow.. haizz.. fed up of skul... juz wanna go lepak oni... mayb i can make a deal wif mik.... lol... =P

i SOOOO doubt so laa... it'll NEVAA happen... haizz.. newayz....
gonbanwaa.....

the moment i layed eyes on you....
i felt like soaring through the sky so blue

a rush of exitement crept upon me....

as i finally realized i was free

we stayed on together
throughout all this time
i know that we can make this better
but then again it may be a crime

you are so sweet..so good... so cute

i just cant believe that this is true

of coarse i cannot deny my love for you

but i wonder whether you love for me is true.....

my birthday rocked and at the same time it sucked as hell.... the first 4 periods were free periods... we juz did our hw and talkd and nothin else... lol... then afta dat i stayed bak for the sidang meeting and afta dat i went bak... ma picked me and we went bought my cake... then went bak and smsed and all... i wore my dress =D... i LOVE my dress but the ting is... its a lil lose laa.... near the top area... haha... if u noe wat i mean.... =P.... then we went to the pavilion coz i wanted to go walk on bintang walk and go to planet hollywood.... but then it started to rain.... haizz... so then we ate inside and went bak... so many ppl wished me.... but he didnt... ='[... but i know why he didnt.. hiz fon ar.. seriously.... i was like seriously emo that night.. even today.... so damn emo... he smsed yesterday and he even talkd to narash bout me and all... narash told me dat he reli RELI wanted to talk and sms me... so i topped up 5 for him... then i called him.... he sounded so damn sweet! seriously extremely sweet laa... hehehehe..... seriously miss him laa... hhmm... may be goin out wif him on sat!!!! actually wanted it to be on a sun but cant laa.. ='[ got dance rehersal... huhuhuhu... ='[... so wat to do.... sat lorr... idc la... i juz wanna c him...

have i ever said that life is full of suprises and not to mention that life is extremely weird and inpredictable? thats the thing i hate about it... why cant life juz be perfect like in movies.... haiz.. yea... i know its utterly useless to want a perfect life when its reli obvious that there is no such thing as a perfect life.... there even isnt such a thing as a partially perfect life.....

LURVE YOU GUYZZZZZZZZ =]

when i say jump you say how high

now youve never seen no body ever hit so high

like a bird like a plane

this partay is insane
this party is insane

so JUMP JUMP JUMPP!!!

damn im like... i LURVE wif diz song..... haizzz..... its like.. freakin cool la whey... damn...
240+350+200=790
OMG..... IVE GOT THAT MUCH ALREADY!!!! heheheheheee... emagine how much ill get if i plus gma'z monay and(hopefully) pa's monay..... DAMNNN...... IM HALFWAY THROUGH!!!.....haaaa.... relief.. but im surely gonna use at least 100 for shoppin... mayb buy a new dress or sumtin.... juz GOTTA get sumtin... hehehe... but NOT on shoes... to many shoes redi.. lol.... IM SO FREAKIN SADD!!!! my black ipanema's LOST!!! i hav ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA how it disappeared.... its like it evaporated into thin air or sumtin like dat...

OMG.... ms. m is OFICIALLY INSANE..... she actually got angry wif sum of the gurlz coz they didnt bring her pix(of masjid cordova and andalusia).... so she gave them an assignment.... they had to do a one page on either one of those places(yes.... only one page!).....so the next week when sakz passed them up, she started to go through them one by one la.... so then she started nagging and shouting..... she scholded puva coz she did only 1 quater a page! now ya... dat is a lil over laa.... so then she got it laa... she started to cry and all.. so then, after all the shouting and all.. ms. m asked puva to go sit outside of the class.... puva actually stampped her feet and slightly bangged her book against the wooden table... thats when ms. m lost it la.... she was gonna slap puva! and puva actually had the nerve to say 'ini diri saya...'...... ms. m said 'who d heck do you think you are huh!!?!?!?!?!'... damn laa.. then she asked puva to go call her mom..... ms m juz threw her book and said that she wasnt gonna teach.... i tink she realized that we were innocent and we had to suffer learning that whole sub chap all by ourselves coz of puva... so she lectured us and then started to teach... after a few minutes she warmed up and thank god she became better.... haizzz... damn freakin scary whey... that's the first time ive seen puva lose it..... eventhough it was ever so slightly.. the fact that she actually LOST it... woah.... even i havent done that b4... all i do is juz nod and say im sorry teacher... ill do it and pass it in by tomorrow... lol....

today wasnt that bad.... i felt like fainiting at one point... dnno why... i tink coz i didnt hav anymore h2o... lol.... chemistry... yesterday..... TEACHER WAS IN AN EXTREMELY BADDDD MOOD... she too was shouting at us... damn laa.. why are all ther teachers shouting at us... haizzz... watever laaa..... lol... i wanna take pix... damn i gotta go fold clothes... haizzz.... havent finished so much yet... ='[
HAIZZZ.....

kampung life?

i miss blogging... i miss posting my poems and my stories.... i miss talking crap.. i miss talking bout what'z wrong.... i miss talking bout what'z rite(if there were anythin write)....

i hate being a fatass... i miss being diz suckish.... i mizz him =[... reli do.... honestly.... i seriously dunno whether he misses me too...... he say's so.... but yet again... he makes me depressed by juz bailing on me yesterday.... i was seriously humiliated and not to mention devastated..... i was reli lookin forward to meeting him after such a long time..... his soft palm.... so nice to hold..... he's so tall! his cute nose(dunno why i like his nose... lolx) but i know dat he isnt the BEST lookin guy.... but he IS the best compared to all the guy'z ive liked.....it was kinda hard coz even mark was like that(mark ab... not marc[he is a total ass])........ he said that day that we could remain as bff's... but i dont believe in having any.... so i juz said yes to please him.... i dont wanna hav a bff... its too damn saddening.... scared of losing them...... so he's my fren who is damn freakin cool,fun,smart(but extremely lazy), hawt and......... blablabla.... lol....

i dunno whats goin wif my fly.... seriously laa...... got major yelling from dad that day..... coz was on the fon one day... til freakin 3 am( i tink)..... wif who? sundeep laa..... after he told nile bout wat she told me not to tell him, i stopped talking to him...... i tink mayb i misjudged him..... either that.... or he's juz caught up in his own lies..... idc lar...... he wanna lie... go lie..... after he told nile, she im'd me...... my pm said 'if im a bitch, tell me.. if im a goody-two-shoe... tell me... if im annoying... tell me'.... she said i was a bitch! so i was like.. wth... she was like.... dont try to act la gurl.... and i was like.... ?????? i hav absolutely no idea what ur talking abt.... .. then she was like... i know you told sundeep bout wat i told u not to tell him... he told me dat u told him... and i was like.. watta heck? you think i would tell him? do you know that ur my senior... and im actually afraid of you? yea its kinda lame and reli ambarassing to admit but its true... so why should i tell him?..... then she was like...... oh.. i didnt know that....

seriously la... im not gonna talk to him anymore... O_O

i hate home.... the atmosphere is so weird..... mama has her mood swings.... and papa... no comments.... and MIKHAIL! GOSH.... he's like a replica of pa.... he doesnt realize but damn is it true... well... sooner or later he'll hav to accept that fact... and LIVE with it.... im actually typing with my eyes shut!!! woah.... lol... the advantages of chatting online.... YOU LEARN HOW TO TYPE..... hehehehe.....JUST DOWNLOADED SO MANY NEW SONGS! heheheheh....... my fon has over 220 songz and 350 pix now.. hehehehe... thank god for 2gig memory cards... hehehe....

i still l..... i cant stop l.... its hard to stop...... always tink bout s...... its saddening... i was emoing the whole day today...... seriously... i only ate lunch properly.. i only had 2 small pieces of popiah and 2 cadbury choc biscuits for dinner.... didnt bother having breakfast..... haizzz...... all i wanna do is drink h2o and DIE.....i cant bare it...... i miss taking pix... i miss the environment..... i miss taking pix of the environment... i miss digital macro...... I CANT STAND IT.... WE HAV TO GO SOMEWHERE THIS COMING HOLIDAYS..... OTHERWISE.. ILL LITERALLY DIEEEEE......

wakakakakaa.a... jfasjfakfj

THE GANG!!! LOL (F4 PREFECTZZ)

omg..... our gathering rawkddd!!!!! hehehehe...... i danced.... but i know that i could have danced wayyyy better.... i juz didnt want the teachers to make some fuss or anythin.... but i know that i can do wayyyyyy better... lolx.... and over all i tink they all enjoyd.... haha.. not bad oso ah.... lol.... but i was damn dissapointed that they cancelled the fashion show... ='[..... and we practiced so damn much that my back actually strained..... so damn pain i tell you.... i cant even sit properly!... am so damn exited coz me and mama will be goin to klpac to see bout the singing classes.... =D so damn exited!!!! !ive been wanting this for like.... FOREVER!!!.... lol.... and ive got a trophy!!!! for debating!!! we were the runner ups for our zone... how sad ='[... coz everyone thought that we had a damn good chance of representing... but wat to do... we didnt win... ='[..... went to grandma's house yesterday... she made cheese cake!!!! =P =D so happieee!!! lol..... i miss kerri!! ='[.... i miss gossiping wif her... i miss hanging out wif her.... smsing her... everythin! huhuhu.... saw shaun at the pasar malam that day.... i kinda miss him too actually.... he's so cute! like the youngest lil bro ive never had... although i do have a younger bro... lol.. complicatin?? well... deal wif it! lol....

i miss him... but i dunno la.... narash said that HE was the one who called him dat night... im wonderin why he cant even sms me or anythin.... ahhhhh!!! fuck it... im fed up.... i do love him... but if he doesnt love me as much as i do... then ill move on... i know i can.... ive done it b4.... and i know i will never ever forget him... i juz wonder if he will.... coz i dunno wat to do anymore.... i do trust him when he says that he isnt wif this tulasi gurl... but i dunno laa... watev laa.... im juz gonna live my life..... eventough im only 16 and i cant live it to the fullest YET.... if u noe wat i mean... lolx....

talkd to this dude named ******* laz night... damn does he remind me of mark... damn laa.... its scary!!!.... but mark is like... overrr *****.... this dude isnt that much.... its scary how similar the two are.... they both like the same things... but only dat mark likes hiphop.... this dude likes rock.... both like branded stuff... both are attractive... both are good wif their words.... both have nice voices... but i kinda like marks one better(so damn low and sexay) lolx.... both can sing.... haiz.... no comments.... lolx...

MY BACK HURTS!!!!!! i tink it was coz of the excessive dance practicing.... haizz... strained my back.... muscles too tired of bending and stretching.... thank god i can actually sit now... at first it was hard for me to even sit..... haizzz.....

i dunno wat i wanna be when i grow up... all i noe is dat i wanna have fun and at the same time i wanna do sumtin i love and dont mind doin every single day..... but the thing is dat i love photography.... and the prob wif it is that if im not gud enough.... i will DIE..... i wont be able to get through to the world... i wont get money if im no good.... i have to be like.... the BESSSSTTT amongst the RESTT..... im slowly getting the hang of this slr..... and im loving every picture i take.... every breath i use while im taking pix.... its so beautiful.... the art of taking pix.... its like... capturing life.... movement... momentum..... everything in one single picture...... its hard to accomplish... but once u get the hang of it.... you will LOVEEE It...... im slowly getting the hang of taking pix of people which is a MAJOR plus point... coz its damn important... i can be a great journalist.... i can write and at the same time take pix..... mayb ill do that.... but the ting is..... i dont wanna b writing my whole life..... i write whenever i want to..... but all i know is that i CAN write if i want to.... and when im in the mood..... i can ever write poems...... i can make lyrics..... i dunno wat i wanna do....

HELP ME PEOPLE!!!!!!