muahaha

Im quite sad. i didnt manage to send in my application for the star education fund ='[ sadness ='[ but the fee for the coll isnt thattttt bad. pa already payed tor the first semester.. and if u count properly, each sem will cost about only 1 thousand plus. which compared to other coll's is considered quite ok =] and the stupid NS thingy. they still havent informed us which batch we're supposed to be in. stupid people. they should at least let us know. but OH NOO... they dont. stupid asses(sorry a bit pissed now). anyways, I CANT BELIEVE ILL BE STARTING COLLEGE THIS COMING MONDAY! i recieved a letter via nationwide post yesterday. it was they're acceptance letter and the itinerary for the week. i hav classes from monday to thursday. friday is a free day. i think they wont have classes on fridays la coz of the muslim and mosque issue. classes start at about 9 till about 12.30. but i think thats juz a rough picture. i hope i manage to make new friends. im a little scared =\. haiz. anyways, i thought of hanging out till about 10 on wednesday =P ill tell mama and papa dt ill be hanging wif my new coll friends. see la how. coz im fed up of being at home all the time. i may even meet up wif purnema on one of the days. coz u know from my coll to mid valley isnt exactly dt far =D

yesterday was purnema's birthday. it was her best bday every (according to her) lolx. coz actually, jason said that it would just be the both of them. and she had been waiting for him from 10 till 4! gosh imagine how pissed she wud hav been but then we all rushed to chilli's and then when jason brought her, she was juz. so shocked. she juz stood there for a good 1 minute. lolx. seriously. then after that she took a few steps towards us and started yelling YOU PEOPLE ARRRRR OMGGGG... and then she stood beside our table for another good 1 minute. lolx. that was awesome! and then oh! we all ordered foon and all then at the end of everything, there came a choco fudge cake wif choco coated icecream wif a candle on it =] we all sang happy birthday =] that was so cute. then after a while of talking, i realized i lost my fon. it wasnt with me! so when we all got up and out of the booth, we all searched for my fon and it was nowhere to be seen ='[ sadness. then we all walked to the toilet before going home and then i kept calling my fon wif joey's fon. i kept callinggg... and callingggg.. and then once we got out of the toilet, naeimah suddenly said, 'EH I THINK I FOUND UR FON' but she was holding the umbrella up like she was gonna wack someone. then she said ' i think its in the umbrella!' i was like WTF? OMG!! and then elisha helped her open it and then elisha said. no la its not here. then i just said oh. its ok then and i slouched. but then he suddenly held it in the air and said TADAA. i was so damn freakin happy. like. beyond happy. gosh... lolx... it was so bloody funny... my fon was saved by the umbrella? LOLXXX funny la. lolxxx and then when we got into the car, there were like about 5 of us gurls so we had to like SQUISH... joey sat on top of sindhu and then purne was like sitting at the edge of the seat and my butt had to be inside coz it was quite huge. then i was sitting sideways coz if i didnt, there wudnt be place for sind so i had to lean on naeimah. lolx.. that was awesome! LOLX... purnema still doesnt know who exactly is going on this sat. she juz knows dt we're going.. =D awesomeeee hehehe... =]

High High up in the Sky

Have you ever felt like you're floating on a cloud?
Have you ever had the sudden urge to fly?
well... i wanna fly
i wanna float
i wanna soar =D

mixed emotions

Im positively scared. Absolutely mortified. I can't believe this day has finally arrived. I have never imagined this day.Not up till now. There are no words to describe the mixture of emotions im currently going through. I feel so scared and yet calm and somehow i feel exited. In the end i dont know what exactly im feeling. All i know is that i will be meeting up with my school teachers. For the last time ever before i move into a different chapter of my life. College.

I cant begin to explain the feeling when i say that ill be going to PJ College of Art and Design. That college will be mine for 3 years. I will work my butt off to achieve what ever i hav dreamt of achieving whilst im at that college. The people there will definitely be warm and fun no doubt about that. This little college is not far from my dad's office and the campus isnt exactly as big as The Royale Palace but itll do. it will act as my second home for the next three years and i am glad to call it my second home.

I am gonna miss my friend from skul though. we will all move our separate ways after tomorrow. no doubt about that.

I still cant stop talking and thinking about BRATs. it was the most exciting and fun workshop/camp ive ever been for(apart from JENESYS). I will never forget these two camps. These two camps have changed me into a better and more open person. Open to new possibilities and open to knowledge. Without participating and applying for these camps, i wouldnt hav gone through as much as i have gone through (if u know what i mean).

However hard i try to improve my english, it never seems to work. The way i write is still the same. I tend to use simple and relatable words that people can understand and connect with. yea i use weird contexts but im sorry everyone dt's just the way i convey my thoughts. Not to mention the fact that this is my page and no one can tell me how to write here.... MUAHAHAHHAHHA... but seriously.. if u hav idea's on how to improve english, pls do share... (the previous muahahahaha and the part where dis is my page and all.... plz ignore that part... that was just me goin a bit mad =P)

I LOVE YOU ALL =D

I LOVE BRATs

IM SOO gonna MISS brats.... yes... i was chosen to attend this journalism workshop in kelantan... it was positively awesome and not to mention eye opening... it made me realize how much i dont know about my own country and also our world/earth.... about wats going on around me and all.. im such a blind bat.... i also managed to gain sooooo many new friends... seriously love them all... they rock.... im closer to these bunch of people compared to the malaysians i met when i went for Jenesys....

i learnt so much bout journalism... bout writing.... and everything.... the way journalists write is totally different compared to the way us skul students write.... journalistic writing cuts straight to the point.. there's no beating around the bush and there's no intro thats long winded and all...... it literally juz cuts straight to the very point....

we also learnt stuff bout photography.... but i kinda knew wat he was talking bout.... but i juz listened anyways =] i was  coz i quite happycoz i knew all the technical terms he was using and that made me realize dt i know quite a bit =D exited a bit edi.. lolx... and i realized that i need to improve my spoken english... i have to stop making so many grammatical mistakes and stuff... these people talk like.... almost perfect english... im there talking broken english but i can still correct people's grammatical mistakes.... i seem like a hypocrite coz im correcting others but not correcting myself... damn mannn....

i miss people tau =[ couldnt talk to THEM everynight.... couldnt LOOK AT THEIR pix every night.... couldnt TEXT as much as we would text everyday.... YOU KNOW WHO U ARE =] and im sure ur reading now =P aishiteru =]

I AM FAT.....

omg.... i seriously suck at tennis... although i am wayyy better than last time though..... but still... i seriously suck tau... like.... SERIOUSLY....and to top it all off.... in this one week..... 2 diff coaches commented on my size/weight/fatness.... on tuesday coach ganesh said im fat and dt girls my age shud hav bodies like models..... felt like cryin then and there.... i actually did cry.... well teared for about 30 minutes... after dt i stopped..... thank god for my sweat.... if i wasnt sweatin, they wud hav realized dt i was cryin.... and then on thursday.... dt coach asked wts my weight... i didnt say so he guessed... and den he said dt i was d same weight as him.... den i tink he saw my expression after dt.... and he said dt its ok even if ur fat u can still play tennis..... d ting is.... HE STILL MENTIONED D PART BOUT ME BEIN FAT..... den thankfully today coach nadir didnt say anythin bout my fatness... probably coz he's an old coach (not OLD... i mean.. he's been there for quite a while) and hence he knows me quite well.. so he didnt say anythin bout it =] thank god...but that boy did say dt his bro calls me gundechi... ='[... i feel so fat....

im goin next week =D omg i drove kakaks car today.... and omg... damn slow la.... haiz... and i had prob wif startin to move... lol... hope i get used to it on my last day of class ='[

happiness.... sadness.....anthusiasm......and more

Valentines..... gosh this years valentines was the best and only one yet.... i got up in the morning to the sound of my alarm..... my mom was asleep and my dad was having his bath before going to work..... i got up..... had a shower and went down... a few minutes later my dad comes down and then after feeding his fish and watering his plants he was off.... i took food up to my mom and also made her a drink..... as i was about to lock the front gate... i get a call from dis guy..... he asks me where my hse is and then that he has a delivery for me.... so i tell him which turning to take and after 5 minutes i hear a rumbling of an engine outside our house... i head up to the gate... i see a guy in sunglasses and a pressed shirt come out of the drivers seat and head to the booth of the car... he opens the booth door and meddles wif something... i see a flashing of colours but i couldnt make out what it really was.. then suddenly he takes out a beautiful bouquet of pink roses and a box of ferero rocher chocolates..... i almost squealed..... i took the roses in and all i could do was sit down on the couch and smell my beautiful bouquet of pink roses... they were beautiful.... i hurriedly took them up before my mom came down....

im fat.... i hate it...... help me lose weight..... please.....

i cant stand being fat.... i cant fit into many dresses..... i cant go out wifout feelin secured about d way i look... i cant go out feeling dt i fit into society.... what do people these days do to lose weight la? ive done it all.... i exercise about 5 times a week nowadays.... i try nt to eat too much of oily stuff... i dont eat rice.... haiz... watever la..... fuck my body... might as well kill myself... wont that be easier?

i cannot get more stupid than i am now

i dunno wat to say.... seriously.... ive been blessed wif everything in the world and yet i look for more..... i cant believe i hav been replaced so fast... i mean.... ya i cant go out all d time especially nt at nights.... and yea i know i miss doin mad things and all.... but ive been replaced.... like... super fast..... and nt oni hav i been replaced by someone fun and loving but also SUPER INTERESTING AND INTELLIGENT...... ive been fooled... but somehow i knew dis was coming but i didnt expect it to arrive dis early..... thankfully no one knows d real me..... i always am careful and secretive till a certain extent.....

once i drew and coloured a picture both on d same day.... it was a pretty awesome day.... i planned to draw today.... but then i realize dt my drawin equiptment was all blunt and needed sharpening.... and i sooo wanted to colour too... but sadly i lost my colours..... someone else stole them from me..... i cant get them back..... depressed

idiots are known for their idiocracy.... idiots are never known for their skills.... and EVERYONE has a skill.... even idiots....

life is a roller coaster

life is a very rough ride... however, we are all blessed with the gift of life.... some of us may dread the day we were born... and some of us act as though we own the whole world... but in actual fact..... all we want is to hav love and to be loved.... we are all lookin for that one thing that exites us and makes our life seem like its worth living....

i hav an aunt who was a very reknown lawyer... she was so extremely good in the court and she never lost a single case... she was my god mom... she was known as the fun and high spirited aunt who was loving and exiting... she met a guy while she was working.... she fell in love.... deeply in love... they got married....although they didnt have a proper wedding ceremony... they seemed as though they were so extremely happy... well, all of a sudden one day they decided to go to on a holiday... they told everyone that they were goin back to my aunt's husbands home town.... then after that they went to canada.... everyone wondered why they didnt even went there to begin with.... they were there for 6 yrs... what we didnt know that my aunts husband was actually abusing her and when she finaly came back, she was so heart broken and ruined... but she didnt let anyone know dt she was actually really hurt... well... i dont wanna speak about this even more.... its too sad to be spoken about...

freedom...

i dont get it.... why does everyone wanna be taken? whats d rush? i  mean ifur 50 or wat den i get it la.. but if ur 15? den why are u in a rush to get someone who SEEMS to love you? coz at that age.... who will know d true meanin of love...... even older people often mistake it for lust or pride..... im not critisizing ppl who are in love right nw..... there is no harm.... its quite beautiful actually.... my point is.... why should we rush to get into a relationship.... i mean.... we have our whole lives ahead of us... we dont need to rush.... we shouldnt race against the clock to get our perfect soulmate... coz d perfect soulmate is out there but once we find them, we wont realize it till d last minute..... so ive been told.... haiz..... watever la.....

deceiver of mankind

i am a fake
i am a lie
i am someone
whom u cant deny
who will cause hate
and destruction
which will cause everyone to lose faith
and be deprived of all mankind

i am the ruiner and the culprit
who is behind the reason
of ur despair and ur extinction
i have commited treason

torture was once thrived
now it is an abomination
but many still torture and torment
it is truely an asphyxiation

i may try to use big words
but that is just a shield
to protect myself from the colliding worlds
and to prevent myself from falling

an aquantaince once told me
the key to a persons heart is through their stomach
i am one weird person because to me
the key to a true man's heart is through his soul