bllaaaaaa much.....

i hate skul.... i was so damn depressed and pissed at her... she didnt use my pages... i dammit worked so hard on them and all of dat lack of sleep for what? FOR NOTHING!.... go to hell la u.... seriously........ i dont care whether ur a teacher, at least be a teacher wif a lil less ego and more BRAINS!...

we call each other names..... there's a prezzie waitin for me.... im so called cute(which i totally dissagree on) there's a whole LIFE ahead of me... and i think im finally maturing and beginning to see the light.... i dont want anymore crapy 5 month stuff... i want de real deal... and i tink i may hav gotten it...... ma actually saw d pix! she didnt mind =D..... but still there's this awkward vibe..... haiz..... cuteness personified i tell you........ and we're practically d same in almost every aspect... juz dat.... pixs are a prov.... its against d LAW(kononnye) aq chayank bby aq bnyk2 tau!! & aq tau die chayank aq jgak.... scary kan... aq dah mule ckp dlm bm.. kene practice ckit lorr.... aq pun dh takut ssb aq tibe2 ckp bm... lolx... but english still rocks my world.... lolx...

couldnt help rekindling

i was sitting and doing add math when i just suddenly went into an oblivion. i went back to the time when i was at that scouts camp in johor. i couldnt help but miss the good time i had there. the friends. the experiences. then suddenly the single bad memory of that place came back to me all at a sudden.

it was the last day of the camp and the camp commandor said that we wouldnt have to do anymore running about and stuff like that. but the catch was that we couldnt sleep for that whole night. as soon as the sun came down, our eyes started to droop. we had had such a fun time till we didnt realize how little time of sleep we had had throughout the whole camp. we were extremely exhausted. we were trying to keep ourselves occupied by sitting in our tent(i was in the girls tent) but then it started to rain and our tent was flooded. so we took all of our stuff and went to the main area.

then, i went to my brother's, cousin's and one of my brother's friends campsite. it was the last tent by the side of an enormous tree and it was extremely secluded and serene. we talked and talked while waiting for the pouring water from above to stop. we talked and talked. then suddenly without realizing, all of us just slept off. i slept on my cousins lap, my cousin slept on my brothers lap and his friend slap on my lap. it was so cramped up, i cant imagine how in the world we slept off in that state. then suddenly we heard the whistle being blown. we were so knocked out that we just decided to ignore the whistling and go back to sleep. then suddenly out of the blue we heard someone opening our tent and shouting at us. it was the co-commandor!!... we didnt know what to do so we just got up and out of the tent. we got majorly messed up. they were shouting at us and everything. they didnt even budge when we told them that we're actually related. thank god they let us off the hook after getting shouted at for roughly 15-30 minutes.

woahhhhh..........

hahaha...... damn am i stuffed....i cant even breathe properly!!!! gosh... O_O....

PLEASE HELP ME FIND MY LOST SOUL

ive lost myself... i cant seem to write anymore poems..... im s damn devastated.... i miss writing poems... i so wanna write poems.... but somehow... now.... ive seemed to lost that special thing that makes me live... that thing that gives me life to write... to feel.. recently ive realized that i cant feel as much as i could before.... its like ive lost my life... the ablity to feel pain... to feel loved.... to... i dont know la.....

ive downloaded soooooo many internet stuff's for me to study from... hehehe.... im gonna do a crash course on my studies.... since ive been flunking almost every single thing....... lolx...

ive got absolutely nothing to say.... i dunno what to write.... i dunno wat to say!!!!!!!

ill juz go now i guess.... bye.....

CHICKEN POX ALLERT

im extremely devastated ='[..... ive got dammit CHICKEN POXXXXX...... thank god it isnt as bad as mikhails... but still.... i wont be ok in time for divali.... damn.... i was sooooo lookin forward to this year's divali coz itll b d last divali before my damn spm.... ='[.... next year i wont be able to enjoy as much as i PLANNED to.... damn.... freakin depressed... =[

yay =D ive found a site to download all my hindi songzzz =D hehehehehe..... i hate life.... ='[

i feel lonely..... my bro sits in his damn room and do only god knows what.... my mom minds her own business.... my dad is always at work... my cousin is juz.... well.... there... lol... haizz.... and now.... i dont even hav a dude and let alone a dudette to msg.... irene has a bf!!!!!!! yesss!!!!!!!! she doessss!!!!!!!omg!!!!!!!!!! hehehe... im more exited than her... hahax... im so proud of her! lol....

she better stay wif this dude.... he's good for her... he'll take care of her.... he seriously will =]

rekindling.....

i hate life....

you know wat happened? well, mr. j and mr. n actually punked me! and damn was i scared... like... seriously scared.... i was cryin...(dat was mr. n's work) then after a while, i started pouring my heart out... all the sorrow... all that grief started pouring out like a thick stream of honey.... and i didnt realize that mr. n and mr. j had switched places and i didnt realize that i was pouring my heart out to mr. j... i was so extremely dumbfounded... i didnt know wat to do or wat to say. all i could do was cry and sob. i had no other way to describe the intensity of the way i felt. the level of guilt and sorow flowing and entoxicating my blood. i couldnt bare it. i knew it was mr. j on the other side eventhough i could not see him. i trusted mr. j. Besides that, i occured to me that he was actually crying. i couldnt believe that this fiasco was taking place. it was so real yet incredibly unreal. i couldnt do anything else but cry. he kept asking me how i could have done such a terrible thing to him. even i didnt understand how i could have been so extremely cruel. i knew i was bad but i didnt know how bad. it never struck me that i could be this bad. i didnt forgive myself for 2 weeks. on the first day of the 3rd week, i received a msg from mr. j telling me no to be incredibly sad and miserable and he also asked me to move on and start studyin. but i knew that my studies were there and this fiasco wasnt getting in the way of it. i still cant accept my actions. however i know that i have to move on. i know that mr. j will slowly move on. i also know that i will always be able to talk to mr. j. he assured that. he is nice to talk to when he decides to talk. but otherwise, he is one extremely quiet man. yes he's a man. he isnt a boy. he is a MAN.

i confronted mr. s about what happened in front of mutiara complex. i told him almost everything. i didnt want to tell him everything because i dont have evidence that puts him in the safest of places. i will never forget what he did to me or what happened to me that day.


its nice having people to talk to. they tell you about their perspectives and their beliefs. and i appreciate my friends for that. they are the best(4th with the 1st being my mom,2nd dad, 3rd bro). i sometimes get really fed up of talking to girls all day. you know why? because ive been studyin in a girls school ever since i was in standard 1. these are the effect. catastrophy. i would prefer being in a co-ed school. more freedom, more responsibility and more experience and not to mention more fun. somehow, i find boys to be much more adventurous than girls. no one knows that i was actually a tom boy when i was in primary school. i had short hair, wore baggy tee's and huge jeans. but ive certainly changed now. but somehow, the way i talk and act still remained the same. i sometimes think like a boy(except the part of me being extremely and utterly emotional about the slightest of things) and i also tend to talk like a boy sometimes. it depends on my mood. but im definitely a girl. no doubt about that.

i hate studyin yet i sometimes miss studying. i feel bored when i dont study and yet i sometimes REFUSE to study. actually to tell you the truth, i will never start studyin properly until the last minute. especially for agama islam.

i need to start improving my level of english. im still my regular old self with all the stupidity and catastrophies and crapping but just with more polished english when compared to last time. yes mother... ive finally seen the light =S =S

i dont know what i wish to do when i grow up. but like as though im not already a huge buffallo. i just dont know what field to major in. i think i may do either photography or maybe even mass comm. ive heard from many people that mass comm is a very good choice of field. but we may never know until next year.